Official Critiques wanted post.

Posted March 1st, 2011 by quakerninja

Do post shirts you want to have fixed.
Don't post shirts that took you no time or thought.

I can't help you if you have no understanding of what I am going to tell you.
Please have a basic understanding of the fundamentals and a willingness to accept criticism and the self motivation to take that information and improve yourself.

This is not a post to do your work for you and they are just opinions so please don't get butt hurt.
Also share and share alike please. No leaches. If you have something of value to add don't clam up we all have things we are really good at and things that we suck at.

Do describe what you are trying to get across and what you think the problem might be in your own words. I can't read your mind.
Don't just flood this place with crap and expect to get better. Your going to have to do all the hard parts on your own. All I can do is point out some technical mistakes and suggest improvements.

3578 Comments

dustin wyatt said about 2 years ago

This was rejected. After looking at it again I think it may be too busy and you lose the bird, the background can probably be taken out. This is my first time really working with the halftone texture and would love some help if it doesn't look right. As for the text, debating just losing it all together, I know its kind of sloppy but I didn't feel it necessary to come up with a custom text to be replaced if sold to a band or brand. Any help with this would be much appreciated.
Balefire said about 2 years ago

dustin wyatt said:This was rejected. After looking at it again I think it may be too busy and you lose the bird, the background can probably be taken out. This is my first time really working with the halftone texture and would love some help if it doesn't look right. As for the text, debating just losing it all together, I know its kind of sloppy but I didn't feel it necessary to come up with a custom text to be replaced if sold to a band or brand. Any help with this would be much appreciated.

I like the bird... I'd either drop the far background or really really wash it out. Also, it may add a bit of dynamicism to the composition if the birds wings spanned a little beyond the general oval framework of the design. You don't really even have to redraw anything, just make him a little bit bigger and move him down so that his head is about where it is now but his wings extend down closer to the banner and outward so it breaks up the shape a little bit.

Also, on the banner, the part with the text might look better if it were the front most part of the banner. I guess I'm suggesting you tuck the front most part of the banner behind the part with the text.

It's a nice illustration overall though.
dustin wyatt said about 2 years ago

Thanks Balefire, I'll definitely take all of that into consideration when I go to re-work this.
haxereth said about 2 years ago

haxereth said:I've been working on a senior t-shirt design for my high-school and have gone through several different ideas before ending up here. I know it sucks hard compared to most of the stuff here and will accept all criticism given.

so anybody got any comments for this? (besides the text could be raised a bit up)
The Mothman said about 2 years ago

Hey guys, I made some changes on this and it got rejected again. Any suggestions?
selfhighfive said about 2 years ago

The Mothman said:This got rejected and I would really really appreciate advice on how to make it better/acceptable.

Up the value on the hand and the eye. The caterpillar and butterfly are rendered way more naturally than the hand; it looks cartoony and pillow shaded in comparison.
I like that you're balancing the fingers with the butterfly, but to me it seems a bit too symmetrical. Maybe move it more toward the eye in the palm, rather than sitting on the outside. (It kind of seems like the hand is going to swat the butterfly, the way it's positioned now also)
It's a tad bit plain overall as well. You could probably benefit from adding some garnishes to compete with those two super detailed insects.
It can turn out awesome, just keep up the work.
The Mothman said about 2 years ago

selfhighfive said:
The Mothman said:This got rejected and I would really really appreciate advice on how to make it better/acceptable.

Up the value on the hand and the eye. The caterpillar and butterfly are rendered way more naturally than the hand; it looks cartoony and pillow shaded in comparison.
I like that you're balancing the fingers with the butterfly, but to me it seems a bit too symmetrical. Maybe move it more toward the eye in the palm, rather than sitting on the outside. (It kind of seems like the hand is going to swat the butterfly, the way it's positioned now also)
It's a tad bit plain overall as well. You could probably benefit from adding some garnishes to compete with those two super detailed insects.
It can turn out awesome, just keep up the work.

Thanks a ton man! I see what you are talking about with the contrast between the insects and the hand. I will go back and try to make the hand match the insects better. I will also try to reposition the butterfly like you said. And I will try to come up with some kind of "garnishes" as well. But I really do appreciate the advice, I wish more people on here would put in the effort to help.
justinryan said about 2 years ago

The Mothman said:Hey guys, I made some changes on this and it got rejected again. Any suggestions?

what is the concept behind the design? does it relate to one of the bands songs or something? it may be because i'm not familiar with who it's for, but it just seems kind of like there are a bunch of random elements thrown on the tee. the triangle, radial thing, butterfly, caterpillar, hand with an eye, needle through the thumb, bubbles/circles.. etc. the piece is fairly well done, but i think it needs to be a little more simple or refined.

i think it is rad that you are taking the rejection with stride and trying to make it better, rather than getting butt hurt about it hah.
CallumGreen said about 2 years ago

Sort the kerning out. That's bugging me. The butterfly is really well illustrated though,
The Mothman said about 2 years ago

justinryan said:
The Mothman said:Hey guys, I made some changes on this and it got rejected again. Any suggestions?

what is the concept behind the design? does it relate to one of the bands songs or something? it may be because i'm not familiar with who it's for, but it just seems kind of like there are a bunch of random elements thrown on the tee. the triangle, radial thing, butterfly, caterpillar, hand with an eye, needle through the thumb, bubbles/circles.. etc. the piece is fairly well done, but i think it needs to be a little more simple or refined.

i think it is rad that you are taking the rejection with stride and trying to make it better, rather than getting butt hurt about it hah.

A hand with an eye in it represents all seeing/all powerful (I thought that the triangle would make the all seeing concept more obvious) . I put the needle through the thumb to represents anti-creativity and the butterfly/caterpillar to represent evolution. It's basically a loose representation of being against fate and to use free will with a creative mind. I can see why it's hard to put together without any explanation. The radial thing in the background was put there just to make the design slow a little better on the top and I put the bubbles there to bring a little bit more attention to the band name.

And thank you for noticing that. I'm just really trying to become better. I don't know why people get so butt hurt when there shirts get rejected or when people have negative things to say about them. I love hearing criticism and love to try and better myself from the advice that I get.
GNARZILLA said about 2 years ago

The Mothman said:Hey guys, I made some changes on this and it got rejected again. Any suggestions?

looks heaps better. at this point your progress should be more satisfying than getting it approved. keep it up
Andrew Haines said about 2 years ago

dustin wyatt said:This was rejected. After looking at it again I think it may be too busy and you lose the bird, the background can probably be taken out. This is my first time really working with the halftone texture and would love some help if it doesn't look right. As for the text, debating just losing it all together, I know its kind of sloppy but I didn't feel it necessary to come up with a custom text to be replaced if sold to a band or brand. Any help with this would be much appreciated.

Definitely work on the type, but do that last. It looks like what it is, letters drawn on real quick with a tablet and no real thought process to it. It doesn't match the style of the piece.

I'd agree and say lose the far background and work on the hand and banner the most. The bird has a nice stylized look, and then arrow looks pretty good with it, but that hand needs some work. It looks like you took time on the bird and arrow then rushed the rest. The anatomy of the fingers are bent at some points and the pinky goes behind the bird but nothing else does, which makes the hierarchy look a little funky. Try different types of light shadings to give the hand some depth (horsebites has some nice hand drawings and I have a few if you want to check them out) as it looks like outlines with some very light texture as is. The banner the same way. Try to match the shading style you have up top with the bottom elements and it would look a ton better. Its a good start, just needs some tweaking.
Andrew Haines said about 2 years ago

The Mothman said:Hey guys, I made some changes on this and it got rejected again. Any suggestions?

I'd say work with the positioning a little. Like what selfhighfive said about the symmetry, try scrapping the centipede thing and placing the butterfly in that area with a more open wing, giving the piece a \ shape flow. It might work a little better positioninglywise.

The thumb and fingers look a little chunky, but that might be an illusion due to lack of shading. Try making the same effort shading in the hand as the rest (which look great) The needle's thread could wrap around the fingers? Something to be more incorporated than just on the thumb. Give that pupil some love and detail it up nice a pretty like the butterfly. Maybe lose the spiked background and keep it a triangle with a lightly textured background. Use what you choose :) Its definitely getting there and looking better each time
The Mothman said about 2 years ago

Andrew Haines said:
The Mothman said:Hey guys, I made some changes on this and it got rejected again. Any suggestions?

I'd say work with the positioning a little. Like what selfhighfive said about the symmetry, try scrapping the centipede thing and placing the butterfly in that area with a more open wing, giving the piece a \ shape flow. It might work a little better positioninglywise.

The thumb and fingers look a little chunky, but that might be an illusion due to lack of shading. Try making the same effort shading in the hand as the rest (which look great) The needle's thread could wrap around the fingers? Something to be more incorporated than just on the thumb. Give that pupil some love and detail it up nice a pretty like the butterfly. Maybe lose the spiked background and keep it a triangle with a lightly textured background. Use what you choose :) Its definitely getting there and looking better each time

Thank you dude! I love the idea of the thread wrapping around the fingers, I'm definitely going to try that out. And I definitely agree with you about the shading on the hand, I'm going to get started on that pretty soon. I'll post an updated version on here once I hammer out everything.
bleet said about 2 years ago

I submitted the first option and havnt heard if i got accepted or not but think its still not 100%, its straying away from the idea, motorbikes as a religion...

Anyway took Joshua's crit and tried to balance the white area of the wheel into the left with the smoke and think its working harder.

whats your thoughts guys?

Submitted, not sure if its accepted...

New one with added smoke and centered the wheel a bit

Thanks
justinryan said about 2 years ago

bottom one is def cooler
Balefire said about 2 years ago

The Mothman said:Hey guys, I made some changes on this and it got rejected again. Any suggestions?

Looks good dude! Nice improvements.

I might just lose the caterpillar. I get what you are going for with that and the butterfly. But the caterpillar is sort of distracting to me. It kind of throws off the balance of the composition. That and just add details to the hand - cross hatching or stippling... actually stippling would look sweet!!

Also, and this just is sort of bad luck for you really, this tee just got approved 2 days ago: http://mintees.com/tees/335970-max-handroom ... and I'm assuming your first submit was before that tee, and your second submit was after. So it may have been approveable the second time around, but not like the day after a very similar design was posted. Just a thought.
#Yoeri# said about 2 years ago

http://www.flickr.com/photos/yoeridebremaeker/5596002362/

The idea would be a minimal approach but with a small, high detailed illustration.
The supreme way but with illustrations you could say.

Let me know what you guys think about it.
Personally I like the illustration but I'm not sure if it works well on a shirt ...
cryptic13 said about 2 years ago

is it really that bad?
i just want to know what i made wrong on this one. i really appreciate any feedback!
Balefire said about 2 years ago

cryptic13 said:
is it really that bad?
i just want to know what i made wrong on this one. i really appreciate any feedback!

It's not "that bad". It's just that there's not much to it. If you're going to do a shirt that's main element is a skull and there isn't much else with it, it's going to have to be one of 3 things 1) Extremely well illustrated and full of rich details 2) very stylistically illustrated in a unique way or 3) very cleverly illustrated and I'm not sure that those are 3 distinctly different things in every case. It seems that what you have here would fall under the first category. When I think of illustrations like that, stuff like these designs comes to mind: http://mintees.com/people/141781-monkeymouth

I'm not saying copy his style... but the attention to detail and insane amount of work into those separate them from the pack.

One other thing that's not working for me is the far background - it has a pretty hard edge. It feels like it either needs to man up and have a border or not. Right now it seems like it's kind of in limbo which gives it an underdone, incomplete feel. So my suggestion is to either add a border pattern or framing of some kind that would edge off the background or to fade out the background on all the edges.

I'm not going to comment on the type because I think it's pretty good and also I suck at type :p

All in all this is a really good start.
cryptic13 said about 2 years ago

thank you very much; i'll try to make it better :)
cityhall said about 2 years ago

Balefire said:
cryptic13 said:
is it really that bad?
i just want to know what i made wrong on this one. i really appreciate any feedback!

It's not "that bad". It's just that there's not much to it. If you're going to do a shirt that's main element is a skull and there isn't much else with it, it's going to have to be one of 3 things 1) Extremely well illustrated and full of rich details 2) very stylistically illustrated in a unique way or 3) very cleverly illustrated and I'm not sure that those are 3 distinctly different things in every case. It seems that what you have here would fall under the first category. When I think of illustrations like that, stuff like these designs comes to mind: http://mintees.com/people/141781-monkeymouth

I'm not saying copy his style... but the attention to detail and insane amount of work into those separate them from the pack.

One other thing that's not working for me is the far background - it has a pretty hard edge. It feels like it either needs to man up and have a border or not. Right now it seems like it's kind of in limbo which gives it an underdone, incomplete feel. So my suggestion is to either add a border pattern or framing of some kind that would edge off the background or to fade out the background on all the edges.

I'm not going to comment on the type because I think it's pretty good and also I suck at type :p

All in all this is a really good start.

I would also add that its too huge. Putting a large circle on the belly makes you look prego
Balefire said about 2 years ago

cityhall said:
I would also add that its too huge. Putting a large circle on the belly makes you look prego

Word.
bedlambully said about 2 years ago

ive been very appreciative of the advice so far any for this design will be as well. this is the tattoo style we will be doing. i understand thats not really in here but, im in the midwest so it is there. 2 color in 2 ways
fopifopi said about 2 years ago

mods critiques needed.. Please I want to be a part of this site.. give me a chance please..
bedlambully said about 2 years ago

bedlambully said: ive been very appreciative of the advice so far any for this design will be as well. this is the tattoo style we will be doing. i understand thats not really in here but, im in the midwest so it is there. 2 color in 2 ways
bump,bump
MattisGentle said about 2 years ago

Blahhh, tried workin on this
monching said about 2 years ago

got rejected again.
Joshua Jordan said about 2 years ago

bleet said:I submitted the first option and havnt heard if i got accepted or not but think its still not 100%, its straying away from the idea, motorbikes as a religion...

Anyway took Joshua's crit and tried to balance the white area of the wheel into the left with the smoke and think its working harder.

whats your thoughts guys?

Submitted, not sure if its accepted...

New one with added smoke and centered the wheel a bit

Thanks

Bottom one looks sweet. Still a bit unbalanced but I think it's adding a lot of movement instead of feeling uneasy.
Balefire said about 2 years ago

bedlambully said: ive been very appreciative of the advice so far any for this design will be as well. this is the tattoo style we will be doing. i understand thats not really in here but, im in the midwest so it is there. 2 color in 2 ways

Problem areas that would definitely red flag this one:
1) Mockup is blurry.
2) It looks like it's pretty much a rectangle piece of art just placed on a tee. That can be okay if it is done tastefully and with reason - but that doesn't seem to be the case here.
3) You have a bunch of gradients going on but there is almost no hint of any halftoning except for on the smokey element, but even that little toning thing seems to be on top of a gradient anyway. In other words, this doesn't seem really close to print ready at all.
4) There is no super obvious link between all of these elements (to me, anyway). I see the japanese element but the main character doesn't really flow with that feel, which is fine if that's what you were going for, but it's really hard to tell.

So all in all, it just doesn't come across a finished tee shirt design.
OptimisticDesigns said about 2 years ago

monching said:

got rejected again.

This is not your best, but how did the HEYLLL did this not get accepted?
That hatch work is ridiculous.
Azrhon said about 2 years ago

monching said:

got rejected again.

hmm....i think its the anatomy of the hands and doesnt kinda like the hair the way its done. colors are great
Alejandro Prez said about 2 years ago

fopifopi said:mods critiques needed.. Please I want to be a part of this site.. give me a chance please..

no, go away.
monching said about 2 years ago

OptimisticDesigns said:
monching said:

got rejected again.

This is not your best, but how did the HEYLLL did this not get accepted?
That hatch work is ridiculous.

Azrhon said:
monching said:

got rejected again.

hmm....i think its the anatomy of the hands and doesnt kinda like the hair the way its done. colors are great

thanks for the feedback guys. the hands are like floating on the head, i intentionally draw it like that. but yeah, maybe i'll just try to do more better next time.
oohdoyle said about 2 years ago

I'm assuming designs submitted that do not show up and without an auto-responder e-mail as well are rejected, is this correct?
fopifopi said about 2 years ago

Alejandro Prez said:
fopifopi said:mods critiques needed.. Please I want to be a part of this site.. give me a chance please..

no, go away.

REN said:
fopifopi said:mods critiques needed.. Please I want to be a part of this site.. give me a chance please..

hojestly color work is pretty good, just make better illo. Refuse to use plugs n ur drawings, no one likes that.

Thanks for your feedback guys..I'll always try to be better and better..thanks :)
bedlambully said about 2 years ago

Balefire said:
bedlambully said: ive been very appreciative of the advice so far any for this design will be as well. this is the tattoo style we will be doing. i understand thats not really in here but, im in the midwest so it is there. 2 color in 2 ways

Problem areas that would definitely red flag this one:
1) Mockup is blurry.
2) It looks like it's pretty much a rectangle piece of art just placed on a tee. That can be okay if it is done tastefully and with reason - but that doesn't seem to be the case here.
3) You have a bunch of gradients going on but there is almost no hint of any halftoning except for on the smokey element, but even that little toning thing seems to be on top of a gradient anyway. In other words, this doesn't seem really close to print ready at all.
4) There is no super obvious link between all of these elements (to me, anyway). I see the japanese element but the main character doesn't really flow with that feel, which is fine if that's what you were going for, but it's really hard to tell.

So all in all, it just doesn't come across a finished tee shirt design.

Thank you ill take it in like gin. There are half tones in all the gradient shading I must of went to small. And every other shirt I had done was round so I figured a squared background might do better.(I was wrong). As in the elements the piece is in reference to life and death and then rebirth seemed fitting with everything that just went on over there. The mask is unusual but is referenced from a real mask from there culture and I all ways liked it seemed original since couldn't find anyone else who had used it in a tee design. Thanks for the advice if there is any more that would be great. I still can't figure out why my mock would look blurry I purchased the go media pack.
Balefire said about 2 years ago

bedlambully said:
Balefire said:
bedlambully said: ive been very appreciative of the advice so far any for this design will be as well. this is the tattoo style we will be doing. i understand thats not really in here but, im in the midwest so it is there. 2 color in 2 ways

Problem areas that would definitely red flag this one:
1) Mockup is blurry.
2) It looks like it's pretty much a rectangle piece of art just placed on a tee. That can be okay if it is done tastefully and with reason - but that doesn't seem to be the case here.
3) You have a bunch of gradients going on but there is almost no hint of any halftoning except for on the smokey element, but even that little toning thing seems to be on top of a gradient anyway. In other words, this doesn't seem really close to print ready at all.
4) There is no super obvious link between all of these elements (to me, anyway). I see the japanese element but the main character doesn't really flow with that feel, which is fine if that's what you were going for, but it's really hard to tell.

So all in all, it just doesn't come across a finished tee shirt design.

Thank you ill take it in like gin. There are half tones in all the gradient shading I must of went to small. And every other shirt I had done was round so I figured a squared background might do better.(I was wrong). As in the elements the piece is in reference to life and death and then rebirth seemed fitting with everything that just went on over there. The mask is unusual but is referenced from a real mask from there culture and I all ways liked it seemed original since couldn't find anyone else who had used it in a tee design. Thanks for the advice if there is any more that would be great. I still can't figure out why my mock would look blurry I purchased the go media pack.

Well, I guess not the mockup itself - I was really tired (and a little cranky) when I wrote that critique and I just re-read what I said and apologize if I came off as rude - and I also misspoke when I said the mockup was blurry. But what I meant was the detail shot to the right of the mockups was blurry. You probably scaled a small version of your image up to show the details rather than taking a high res shot and scaling down to fit that area.

On the halftones, yeah it just sort of looks like photoshop or illustrator gradients. And your halftone settings might be fine, but that look combined with the square, poster-like border and blurry detail shot are all sort of putting that notion in my head - that it's not a screen-printable design - even if it is.

I didn't realize the life and death thing at all and can appreciate what you're going for more now that I do know. But it's not super obvious to an uninformed audience (i.e. me).

Anyway, thanks for not getting super defensive and keep up the effort.
Cutty. said about 2 years ago

Balefire said:
cryptic13 said:
is it really that bad?
i just want to know what i made wrong on this one. i really appreciate any feedback!

It's not "that bad". It's just that there's not much to it. If you're going to do a shirt that's main element is a skull and there isn't much else with it, it's going to have to be one of 3 things 1) Extremely well illustrated and full of rich details 2) very stylistically illustrated in a unique way or 3) very cleverly illustrated and I'm not sure that those are 3 distinctly different things in every case. It seems that what you have here would fall under the first category. When I think of illustrations like that, stuff like these designs comes to mind: http://mintees.com/people/141781-monkeymouth

I'm not saying copy his style... but the attention to detail and insane amount of work into those separate them from the pack.

One other thing that's not working for me is the far background - it has a pretty hard edge. It feels like it either needs to man up and have a border or not. Right now it seems like it's kind of in limbo which gives it an underdone, incomplete feel. So my suggestion is to either add a border pattern or framing of some kind that would edge off the background or to fade out the background on all the edges.

I'm not going to comment on the type because I think it's pretty good and also I suck at type :p

All in all this is a really good start.

All good advice.

Also, not saying its a rip or anything, cause its just a skull and a circle... but its a little too similar to this for me, and this rules.

(Travis Cook)

bedlambully said about 2 years ago

I very well may have. I will double check. I also think that the halftones I used in the eyes and the inside of the lotus were a positive dot and I think I should have used a negative dot halftone. Does that sound right
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