Official Critiques wanted post.

Posted March 1st, 2011 by quakerninja

Do post shirts you want to have fixed.
Don't post shirts that took you no time or thought.

I can't help you if you have no understanding of what I am going to tell you.
Please have a basic understanding of the fundamentals and a willingness to accept criticism and the self motivation to take that information and improve yourself.

This is not a post to do your work for you and they are just opinions so please don't get butt hurt.
Also share and share alike please. No leaches. If you have something of value to add don't clam up we all have things we are really good at and things that we suck at.

Do describe what you are trying to get across and what you think the problem might be in your own words. I can't read your mind.
Don't just flood this place with crap and expect to get better. Your going to have to do all the hard parts on your own. All I can do is point out some technical mistakes and suggest improvements.

3578 Comments

Psyched said about 2 years ago

I know i have to add texture and that, but illustration wise i feel like theres somethnig missing
design variance said about 2 years ago

http://www.mintees.com/tees/333391-jelly-brains

I've been an emptees learker for along time now. I posted this shirt a few weeks ago. The amount of loves really made me question a piece that I was pretty happy with. One thing that I have noticed is that it kind of lands between illustrative and graphic based tees which might mean its a man without a country. I would be curious to see what people thought and I hope this thread is an active and helpful one.
quakerninja said about 2 years ago

I guess the bad ass looking triceratops are supposed to be tough, don't care, screw the man type things.
The stars, and stripes are supposed to be some sort of banner, or emblem.
Is this for print or shirts. If it's for print it's looking ok, may need to try some other type choices and get the alignment dialed in. If it's for a shirt the squareness is not good. I would just stay with the circle, and have the text arch on the top. Top because that is how people read, top to bottom, left to right (western reading anyway)
You have to styles going on, clean smooth shapes and a loose illustration in the center. I would pick one and stick with it. Make the dinosaurs really crisp, or make the other elements more rock like. Maybe have the dinosaur heads crashing thew the middle and have the circle like a broken rock slap with the stars chiseled into it and some ransom chunks of rock flying out.
El Presidente said about 2 years ago

design variance said:
http://www.mintees.com/tees/333391-jelly-brains

I've been an emptees learker for along time now. I posted this shirt a few weeks ago. The amount of loves really made me question a piece that I was pretty happy with. One thing that I have noticed is that it kind of lands between illustrative and graphic based tees which might mean its a man without a country. I would be curious to see what people thought and I hope this thread is an active and helpful one.

a couple of thoughts:

1. The composition doesn't really make any sense. A jellyfish with a human brain inside...okay? It just doesn't have that "oh that's clever" aspect to it.

2. It looks like you took a stock photo of a jellyfish and a human brain and livetraced them.
quakerninja said about 2 years ago

Design Variance. It looks ok but it has no context. It isn't really working as a stand alone illustration, add some supporting drawings to help your main brain jelly fish character. Maybe some variations of the idea, different kinds of brain jelly fish, bright ones big ones tiny ones, long, short, fat ect, or some abstraction to fill some space at the bottom and better draw the eye in, maybe some kelp, or little fishes, or something that is endangering your main drawing like a scary shark shadow or maybe a diver in the foreground about to reach for a bone covered treasure chest while unknown to him the brain jelly is about to kill him.
quakerninja said about 2 years ago

Sketching ,prototyping, thumbnails and, roughs. These are methods to quickly flush out several versions of the same idea before you commit to any one direction. They are very crude small scale fast drawings, the point it to get the structure of the drawing and the composition planed before you get to the nitty gritty. Most designs I see here could be improved with just a little pre planing.
Tom Philibeck said about 2 years ago

This is a poster/shirt series I'm making for my project management class. Any critiques are appreciated. You guys are much more honest and critical than the people at my school.
design variance said about 2 years ago

Thank you guys for your comments. A couple things, Presidente a live trace really? The details in the brain alone should give you some kind of clue that I drew this, honestly thats a pretty harsh comment to make considering the work I put in to vectorizing this. Honestly the image itself is something I came up with along time ago working around the concept that I wrote in with the original post. I understand what your saying about composition and thats something I have to re look at but I don't really want to clutter the shirt with more jellyfish as thats not the kind of shirt that I would want to wear, or really my style, I wanted something a bit more understated. I guess it needs some revisiting and I thank you for your comments. Clearly the image itself doesn't peak interest alone.
quakerninja said about 2 years ago

Teeth are horseshoe shaped. They would be visible on the second image. The swirls are covering your cool looking texture stuff. The faces are flat, add lighting and shadows where appropriate.
Tom Philibeck said about 2 years ago

Thanks Quaker. I don't know what you mean about the teeth being Horseshoe shaped. I referenced skull images and that's how teeth look. Also, the teeth aren't visible in the second image, because I laid one image over the other in photoshop to make sure. You can see a bit of the last tooth on the top and bottom, but that's it. As for the shading, I never know how much to add. I have some shading there, but when I add more, it seems like too much. I can never find a happy-medium.
Standalive said about 2 years ago

Hope fully i get this right, would like some strong critiques on this
would be on the back of a crew sweater to have the old classic varsity feel.

Tom Philibeck said about 2 years ago

The swords don't seem to match the style of the helmet. The helmet has no outline, but those swords do. I think it might look better if the swords were just silhouettes. Also, it looks like there is some distress on the helmet, but there isn't any on the type. It would probably pull it all together better if the type was distressed as well.
Standalive said about 2 years ago

Tom Philibeck said:
The swords don't seem to match the style of the helmet. The helmet has no outline, but those swords do. I think it might look better if the swords were just silhouettes. Also, it looks like there is some distress on the helmet, but there isn't any on the type. It would probably pull it all together better if the type was distressed as well.

so you think i should re add the outline on the helmet i felt like it gave it some simplicity to the design.
Tom Philibeck said about 2 years ago

No, I'm saying that I like it without an outline. I think think the swords should also reflect that. If you make the swords more simple (like just a silhouette) I think it would make the design fit together better.
DeadSeagull said about 2 years ago

Tried to submit this but it was rejected. Any thoughts?

[IMG
border='0'/>

https://skitch.com/deadseagull/r1tdg/photoshop
Jagstar said about 2 years ago

yeah same here, any thoughts on why this was rejected?
Infinite Black said about 2 years ago

Jagstar said:

yeah same here, any thoughts on why this was rejected?

I personally really like the woodcut style you have going on here. I think that aspect is done well. However, the perspective seems a bit off on the hour glass. The top looks like it's tilted toward the viewer too much. It needs to be narrower. Also, objects just look placed on top of each other without interacting. The crows talons are just resting on the top, make them clench onto something. Same with the candles on the bottom. Make them more dynamic with dripping wax or something. Also, the perspective is off with the back on the bottom right being so small. It needs to be larger. I like the text and how it matches with the watch, but the gap is odd. It's a good idea, but it is too wide to make logical sense. There's no way the hour glass is that tall. Also, the arrow seems out of place, like it's a different style.

Overall, it looks nice, but a closer inspection makes it look like each piece was done separately and then assembled instead of created as a coherent whole. I'm not saying you did, but it looks like it could be assembled from quality clipart and vector packs. While that could be ok if it all makes sense together, this is lacking a bit for the above reasons. Either draw it with attention to the details or find better images to incorporate. Hope that helps.
dobi said about 2 years ago

the reason i denied it is because it is nothing more than vintage clip art slapped together, not drawn.

http://grab.by/9eZO
Jagstar said about 2 years ago

okay
kiyomag said about 2 years ago

really need some critiques.
quakerninja said about 2 years ago

Looks ok, the text isn't my thing but I guess it works. Not a fan of outlines, they almost always make something worse. Not a fan of the greens I would like to see some different colors, blues or maybe grayscale and printed on heather gray.

There is a thing called implied line. These are invisible lines created by where elements in a drawing point.
The gaze of the adult skull and the baby skull are really disconnected, and it looks odd.
The baby also appears to be weightless, make it sink in a little bit, the farthest arm back is extremely long anatomically.
WillDaBeast said about 2 years ago

Why was this rejected? Was it the mockup?
WillDaBeast said about 2 years ago

Shit sorry:
ndough said about 2 years ago

why rejected?
need help how to submit this?
KolorGuild said about 2 years ago

I submitted this yesterday and am also not quite sure why it was rejected. Any help on this would be great thanks.
quakerninja said about 2 years ago

WillDaBeast Stop trying to be Craig Robson and come up with your own ideas.

ndough: It looks good but it's not finished. Finish it.

Kolor Guild, less kolor more values
KolorGuild said about 2 years ago

@Quakerninja

Not sure what you mean.
Andrew Haines said about 2 years ago

KolorGuild said:I submitted this yesterday and am also not quite sure why it was rejected. Any help on this would be great thanks.

The linework is really weak and its not well done overall. Probably the reason why.
WillDaBeast said:Shit sorry:

Its not bad, but it needs more. The middle is too black, especially for clouds. When I first saw this, it reminded me of Craig's Bastions island design. It needs a light source and a little more to it though, seems undone
InNovember said about 2 years ago

had this approved by emi publishing and motorhead but rejected here... its meant to act as a kind of logo tshirt, so i like the simpleness of it. We tried to add texture to lift the design a little, would love some feedback to help enhance the design before we print it.

thanks

http://mintees.com/tees/334121-we-are-the-road-crew
xul1349 said about 2 years ago

InNovember said:had this approved by emi publishing and motorhead but rejected here... its meant to act as a kind of logo tshirt, so i like the simpleness of it. We tried to add texture to lift the design a little, would love some feedback to help enhance the design before we print it.

thanks

http://mintees.com/tees/334121-we-are-the-road-crew

just because a band aproved it it doesn't mean it's good.i am not sure what texture are you talking about..
InNovember said about 2 years ago

I didnt say it was good, though its obviously good enough for some people. Just need some help to enhance the design. I dont think the mockup shows the texture to well, probably part of the problem. I'll try putting a clearer presentation together. Any thoughts on how to apporve the design as a whole though?
KolorGuild said about 2 years ago

@Andrew Haines
Appreciate the fact that you took time to crit.
DeadSeagull said about 2 years ago

Would love some feedback
Tom Philibeck said about 2 years ago

I need some more feedback on this please:
Chreck said about 2 years ago

starting to ink this, feedback/suggestions appreciated
gurven said about 2 years ago

Hey I'm looking for feedback on this before it goes to print.
Im assuming this got rejected for being an arched type design but all the elements were created by me.
Any feedback would be great,
quakerninja said about 2 years ago

Gurvan, that looks like something you would draw before you start drawing it. Finish it.

Chreck I love it post more awesome stuff please

Tom P. Your shading disregards the shape of the face, its a good start but I think you can really amp it up.
maybe toss it into grayscale mode so you can see the values better.
The textures are looking a lot better defined now. you can do it.
Tom Philibeck said about 2 years ago

The Wolf's snout kinda looks like a pig's. It's not pointy enough and there aren't any teeth. Also, I don't think the ears are pointy enough. To me, it kinda looks like you drew it too small. It could have more details if you had draw it at a larger scale or with a finer tipped pen.
Take a look at this picture and you can kinda see how the head you drew is kinda off:

I hope this criticism doesn't come off too harsh. I'm just trying to help.
Tom Philibeck said about 2 years ago

quakerninja said:Gurvan, that looks like something you would draw before you start drawing it. Finish it.

Chreck I love it post more awesome stuff please

Tom P. Your shading disregards the shape of the face, its a good start but I think you can really amp it up.
maybe toss it into grayscale mode so you can see the values better.
The textures are looking a lot better defined now. you can do it.

Thanks Quaker! I really appreciate it.

gurven said about 2 years ago

quakerninja said:Gurven, that looks like something you would draw before you start drawing it. Finish it.

Thanks, Im going to re-do the wolf but do you think thats it? or does the type need work too?

Tom Philibeck said:The Wolf's snout kinda looks like a pig's. It's not pointy enough and there aren't any teeth. Also, I don't think the ears are pointy enough. To me, it kinda looks like you drew it too small. It could have more details if you had draw it at a larger scale or with a finer tipped pen.
Take a look at this picture and you can kinda see how the head you drew is kinda off:

I hope this criticism doesn't come off too harsh. I'm just trying to help.

Thanks, yeah now you said the pig thing I cannot unsee that.
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